REFRAMING CHANGE: 8 PRINCIPLES

Here are 8 guiding principles which have helped me change.

1. Start with gratitude. The desire to change shouldn’t come at the expense of noticing who you already are. We often take for granted the things we have already achieved, and forget to be grateful for the steps we have taken. Instead of longing to be someone else, start by noticing the things you appreciate about yourself, your life and your community. Water those things, and become more truly you. While it may be counter intuitive to suggest that change is aided by gratitude, we make progress not because of who we aren’t, but because of who we are. Noting this can energise us for the journey ahead.

3. I can make a difference. Romans 12:3 says, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgement, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” Paul then discusses the different gifts God has given to us, and affirms that as we each offer what we can (thinking neither too highly nor too lowly about what we can offer), the church (which is a tangible sign of God’s work in the world), flourishes. Why embrace needed change? Because my willingness to change can make a difference. My kindness towards another might not only help the other, but inspire others to be more generous. My restraint might be a sign to others that angry outbursts at disappointments are not the only available option - and so it goes on.

4. The Holy Spirit really does help us. Think of the astonishing number of setbacks and disappointments that the Apostle Paul faced. Ship wrecked, beaten, imprisoned, opposed by fellow Christians and often exhausted, in Philippians 4:13 Paul proclaims, “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.” If before his ministry commenced he had known what lay ahead, he probably wouldn’t have begun, but having started, he discovered strength on the way. The Holy Spirit really does help us. 

5. Live (and embrace change) in the light of what God has called you to be. We often pay attention to what we must renounce, and not on what God has called us to be. When people think about change, especially the change envisioned in most New Year resolutions, they usually think of essentially trivial things – changed eating habits, an exercise routine, getting up earlier. Such intentions are commendable, but don’t go far enough, because they are not sufficiently motivating. They must answer a clear “why” to work. Personally I’ve realized that if I am to have the energy to do what God has called me to, I need to look after myself. My motivation is not weight loss, but to have the strength to do what I have been called to do – and yes, I do find that very motivating. Often it helps me to decline the caramel tart!

6. Identify your loves. James Smith has noted that we delude ourselves that we are rational beings driven by clear thinking, while in reality we are primarily shaped by what we love and desire. In Desiring the Kingdom he writes, “To be human is to love, and it is what we love that defines who we are. Our (ultimate) love is constitutive of our identity.” Later he notes “our ultimate love is what we worship” (p51). A major part of spiritual formation is about forming and directing our love for God and God’s kingdom. It is possible for pseudo loves (false gods) to capture our hearts and imaginations. When opting for change, we need to consider what we most truly love. Opting for changes that do not support our deepest love will frustrate and disappoint us.

7. Challenge your excuses. It is often noted that the only thing more disappointing than our underperformance is the excuses we use to justify it.

Let’s indeed challenge our excuses, but not as an exercise of law (do better next time) but of grace (let’s examine why this is happening. Do I consider myself unworthy to receive the best that God intends for me?) When God’s grace speaks to my excuses, their hold over me evaporates and I see myself in a new light, as one “beloved” by God. Then I find the power to change.

8. Remember the basics, but dig deeper. I have tried to write of the core underlying conditions that make us open to the change God calls us to. There are also some common sense guidelines to follow and it helps to remember the basics… like “if you aim at nothing, you are bound to hit it”. Set tangible and measurable goals, and go public with them. There is nothing like accountability to help achieve more than we otherwise would. Make your goals a stretch, rather than a snap - for change is the long distance race, not the short sprint, so must be sustainable over the longer term. While solid nuggets of advice, don’t settle for these alone. Ask the harder questions, dig deeper. Change comes not when we paddle in the shallows, but when we leap into the deep...